First of all it wasn’t your fault. I made the decision to do that not you. No matter what you could have said to me I was going to do it anyways. Nothing was going to stop me I want to make that clear. You did stay up with me and talk to me, you did everything you were supposed to do as a best friend. I wanted to do it, it is as simple as that. And to be painfully honest it was extremely selfish. Because if it had worked I would have left you alone to deal with everything. And that would not of been fair. Second of all I am not mad at you for tonight. Logically it makes the most sense to stay. You made the right choice by deciding not to go. And if I really wanted to leave that bad I guess I could go by myself. I just want to forget everything. I want a fresh fucking start. I want to leave all this fucking bullshit behind me. I want to run away from my problems because they are too stressful to deal with. I don’t care if it sounds immature or anything else. You said you don’t think God will give us anything we couldn’t handle? But how the fuck are we handling this? You’re much stronger then me, you always have been. And your right you do still have a chance. We both do I guess. The main difference is that I truly don’t care anymore. I don’t care about my future or what happens because all I can think about is the present. And how fucking shitty I feel and how badly I want to leave.
10:54
